I’ve had a few questions from folks recently about anxiety. “Hey Jay, I’ve got anxiety about [this]. What should I do?”

It’s really pretty normal for people to struggle with anxiety, but most people are so embarrassed and ashamed, that they mostly suffer in secret.

The National Institute of Mental Health has found that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health concern for women and second among men, only topped by alcohol and drug abuse. This works out to be roughly 17 percent of Americans or fifty million people. That’s a big chunk of America!

So what’s the deal with anxiety?

If you were to imagine the spectrum of anxiety as a horizontal line, on the left might be the twinge you feel when you think about your next doctor’s visit, or taking a test. Proceeding to the right you might put scary movies, touching raw meat, or asking someone out. After that lies public speaking, insects, reptiles, or heights, but beyond that, when anxiety really starts to roll into anxiety disorders like Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, PTSD and the Phobias, the stimulus/cause becomes much less concrete.  It can really be difficult to put your finger on why you’re freaking out.

Clearly the causes of anxiety disorders are multi-layered, but there is little dispute that both your environment and genes play a factor in predicting your susceptibility to anxiety. So, if you have a family history of anxiety (grandma had panic attacks or she “worried a lot”), if you were exposed to anxious people as a child (parents or caregivers), or if you have experienced a traumatic event (car accident, death, abuse, or war), it’s more likely that you will have difficulties with anxiety and potentially experience a diagnosable anxiety disorder at some point during your life.

So, maybe your appendix bursts…

When I was in sixth grade my appendix ruptured. I was super sick. The short story is I almost died (trauma). Have you ever had a recurring nightmare? Well, as a kid I did, and during this time, I had that same dream while I was awake. Full on hallucination (trauma)! Anyway, after almost two weeks in the hospital and three weeks out of school, I got better, and everything was great. Right?

Fast-forward twenty years. Now I’m a dad, and I have three awesome kids. Guess what I worry about when one of them gets sick? Especially if their “stomach hurts?” (anxiety) Yep, it’s rough. But the fact is that everyone deals with this kind of stuff. This kind of anxiety is infrequent and benign. It’s a twinge that fades quickly. But for others, their anxiety is more severe and can be totally debilitating. For most of the latter group, anxiety brings with it a lot of symptoms, because it affects your whole body. Thoughts, behaviors, and emotions – the whole ball of wax!

The Ugly Twins: Fear & Anxiety

It’s similar to fear, but when you feel fear it’s generally because there is a specific and concrete reason for your fear. You might think, “My bank account is running low, and I just lost my job,” or you're worried about going to college, failing an exam and getting a bad grade, or getting turned down by the person you’re super attracted to. On the other hand, there are times when this “fear” is undirected, irrational, or more vague. Many people have described it as “not knowing what is going to happen.”  It’s an “attack” or “feeling out of control.” Fearing death and “going crazy” are also very common, but in these situations there is no external cause or direct object. Instead, it’s all internal.

Actually it’s more than internal. It’s in your head. The fear, worry, and often underlying negative beliefs, spin up like a high-powered blender and fill you with a vortex of ambiguous dread that has no cause. Talk about a freak out! And the physical symptoms make you feel like you are having heartburn at best, but a full-blown heart attack at worst! Sweating, heart palpitations, shaking, heavy breathing, dizziness, nausea, and the list goes on. Lots of folks go to the emergency room, because they are convinced that their body is malfunctioning in some way and that they are in danger. That is anxiety.

For some, their anxiety totally blindsides them. Panic hits them like a Japanese bullet train. Suddenly, you feel like you are going to die any minute. Your head spins, you can’t breathe, and you feel totally out of control. So you just remain in your bed or the bathroom, or your office, petrified and pray for the symptoms to diminish. If you’re lucky, they do over the next hour or two (spontaneous anxiety or panic). For others the anxiety builds slowly over a few hours or days to climax in a full attack (anticipatory anxiety). Generally it lasts until you are distracted by something else and your mind is able to move to another subject.

No one is spared a mortal experience.

The truth about anxiety, like other things in life, is that it will always be around. Whether you have an anxiety disorder or experience more normal levels of anxiety, it never just goes away. A friend of mine used to say that no one is spared a mortal experience. We are human, and humans will always experience anxiety. So rather than try to eliminate it, we can learn to not let anxiety control the situation. You can take back control. Because really, how do you want to be spending your time? Here are five things that you can do to decrease your anxiety and improve your overall wellbeing. So take charge of your life.

When did you fall asleep last night?

Your sleep is a really big deal! Anxiety and panic tend to get worse at night and when people are tired. If you haven’t had the sleep you need, you’re not going to have the mental resources to combat real or irrational fear. So get some blackout curtains, and make your room a place for only two activities: sex and sleep. Also, make it a no-device zone. The blue light emitted by our TV’s, computers, and mobile devices suppress the release of melatonin, our sleep hormone. So if falling asleep is a problem for you, avoid using your gadgets for 2-3 hours before bed. If that’s too much to ask, just give yourself a curfew, and keep them in another room.

What are you fueling your body with?

Your diet is a big influence on anxiety, because it affects your total body. Remember anxiety is a whole body experience, and if you do have problems with anxiety, it’s likely that your body is routinely amped up or easily amped up. So with your diet in mind, we are trying to avoid any substance that contributes to a roller coaster of emotions. Certain substances can really screw up your system. The big ones are caffeine, nicotine, and sugar. What’s your caffeine intake like? Whether you measure your intake with cups, cans or energy drinks, caffeine can have a significant impact on anxiety levels, especially if you are not eating while pounding Rockstars or Redbull. In many cases caffeine can increase anxiety and leave you feeling more uneasy and jittery. Ditto for nicotine. Ditto for sugar.

How many steps did you take today?

You can have dramatic results by changing the way you move on a daily basis. I’ll back up a moment and explain our human survival instinct, the fight or flight response, or the sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous system for all you biology buffs out there. This basic instinct is within us all and it helps us react (sympathetic -fast) when there is not time to think (parasympathetic - slow).

Back in the day, when a tiger was coming to eat me, it was a great time to have a fight or flight reflex. Today, even with little opportunity to actually get eaten, anxiety still results. There is a ton of great new research that shows that when our brains are in a sympathetic state (anxious), and we engage in aerobic exercise, it helps us regulate and move into a parasympathetic state, which equals the ability to calm down and think more clearly. We’re even more creative problem solvers in this state.

So what better way to reset? Get some aerobic exercise! The rule of thumb is 20-30 minutes, 4-5 days a week. Running, walking, swimming, machines; it really doesn’t matter. If you already exercise regularly and want to optimize your current routine to address your anxiety, add a day, add a brisk hour walk, or even take a hike. Remember, you’re trying to recondition your mind to be OK with a little elevation in your heart rate. The important point is to have an elevated and sustained heart rate outside a panic attack. (And don’t start an exercise program without your doctor’s approval.)

Negativity: What are you telling yourself?

First things first, you have to realize when you are being negative. If you can’t tell, ask someone you trust to point out negativity. If you are struggling with anxiety, there is an equal part negativity that has secretly been fueling the system.

Next, stop and ask yourself any of the following questions: “What am I telling myself to make me feel this way?” “Do I really want to feel this way?” “Do I want to keep doing this to myself?”

Last, relax. Find any number of methods to distract yourself. The best ones will be physical. Dance, sing, exercise, vacuum the house, mow the lawn, or rake leaves. Do you know what burpees are? I’ve always wanted someone to try doing burpees during a panic attack, but nobody has taken me up on it yet. Hobbies are always awesome. Talking with friends and family is always awesome (not about your problems), and anything that gets you out of your head!

Use Positive Affirmations

Sometimes amongst all of our negativity, particularly when we are anxious, we believe things that are not accurate, and we would be better off if these beliefs could be changed. For instance, many of my clients feel helpless, powerless, or worthless. The tapes that play over and over again in their head sound something like, “I’m not worth it,” “I can’t change,” “I’m powerless.” Which isn’t completely true, but this belief fuels a lot of their anxiety.

This is where positive affirmations come in. A positive affirmation is a short, direct statement in the present tense that replaces these negative beliefs. In this case, a positive affirmation might be, “I am worthwhile,” or “I have every capacity to overcome my anxiety and change my life.” Affirmations are awesome! They can be used in many situations besides addressing negative anxiety fuel. Increasing performance, boosting confidence, preparing for a job interview, even becoming a better lover!

So if you are serious about using affirmations, the key is repetition and emotion. You need to repeat your affirmation throughout the day. Write it on your hand, or on a sticky. Read it before bed and when you get up. The more the better. Remember we are trying to form a new habit of thought, so be consistent. You also want to believe the affirmation to some degree. It’s not necessary to completely believe your affirmation before you start, but you do want it to be a statement that you can repeat with conviction and emotion. Get excited! Make it a whole body experience. Focus on your affirmation, and will it into belief.

And get help!

If your symptoms have lasted longer than 6 months or they are getting worse, you may have a diagnosable anxiety disorder. While all of the disorders do not have the same symptoms, they are all centered around irrational and significant fear and dread. There are many effective treatments for anxiety disorders, counseling being the preferred method, so you should seek treatment from a trained mental health professional. Your family physician can be helpful in referring you to someone in your local area. If you’re in the Puyallup area, give me a call! 253-778-6529

Self-Help Resources

Here are two of my favorite anxiety workbooks. Each of them is filled with tons of exercises,  tips, tricks to fight anxiety. They really are Anxiety A-to-Z. 

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Update 10.14.14

If you liked this article I've written more about anxiety here.